DO YOU GET IT? Number 11

PORK PIE

A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head. The barman asks, “Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?”

The man replies, “It’s a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday.”

The barman remarks, “But it’s Wednesday.”
Sheepishly, the man says, “Man, I must look like a real fool.”

Please leave a comment explaining why the joke is funny.

DO YOU GET IT? – Number 10

AMPARO FERNÁNDEZ GOT THE LAST JOKE STRAIGHT AWAY. HERE GOES A LONGER ONE!!

car accident

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, “Wow, look at our cars — there’s nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other.”

The man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely.”

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, “Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune.”

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

DO YOU GET IT? – Number 9

Recently, I haven’t posted a joke, so here goes the next one. It’s really corny!!!

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds.

https://i2.wp.com/www.picpak.net/comics/2011-06-17-hungry-clock.png

DO YOU GET IT? Number 7

HERE’S ANOTHER LIGHTBULB JOKE FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN!

http://feelingupindowntimes.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/1702-1252709341cgrp.jpg

How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and another one to change it back again.

DO YOU GET IT? – Number 6

Antonio solved Number 5 so quickly that I have the next joke ready.

This time you have to give me the “punchline” (= the answer)

QUESTION:What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

ANSWER: ????

LEAVE A COMMENT

DO YOU GET IT? Number 5

HERE’S THE NEXT JOKE. DON’T FORGET TO LEAVE A MESSAGE TO EXPLAIN THE JOKE! GOOD LUCK!

Teacher: Tom, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?

Tom: What do you think it is, Ms Smith?

Teacher: I don’t think, I know.

Tom: I don’t think I know either, Ms Smith!

DO YOU GET IT? Number 4

Last week nobody even tried to answer the joke, so this week here’s one you have to explain. You may have to look up some vocabulary.

 

 HERE GOES THE JOKE:

A woman is on trial for shoplifting. She is sitting in the courtroom next to her husband.
The judge says to her, “I’m going to have to make an example of you, what did you steal?”
She says, “I stole a can of peaches.”
The judge asks, “How many peaches were there in the can?”
“Five,” she answers.
The judge says, “I’m going to give you five years.”
The woman starts to cry.
And suddenly her husband jumps up and says, “Your honour, last week she stole a can of peas!”

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